Comedy at the Alverbank is back on Thursday 6th of February with John Kearns  headlining – as seen on 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.

John Kearns is an actor, writer and the only comedian to have won the Edinburgh Comedy Award for Best Show (Shtick) and Best Newcomer (Sight Gags for Perverts) in the awards history.

An internationally acclaimed live act, he since has delivered his richly, idiosyncratic comedy (The Guardian) across the world, notably picking up two Melbourne Barry Award nominations along the way. Off the back of sold out residencies at the Soho Theatre, Battersea Arts Centre and at the Edinburgh Fringe, he toured across the UK for the first time in 2018 with his third solo show, Dont Worry, Theyre Here, directed by Olivier winning playwright Jon Brittain. Johns latest show Double Take and Fade Away was hailed by critics as his finest yet and making best of the year lists including the Evening Standard and The List. Following a sold-out Edinburgh run and two weeks at Londons Soho Theatre the show will tour the UK in 2020.

On television John has made numerous water cooler appearances on Cats does Countdown (C4), as an actor was the lead in cult hit Top Coppers (BBC3), went down with the Titanic on Drunk History (Comedy Central), ballsed up a heist in Rotters (Sky Arts) and wrote and performed on the ahead of its time Saturday night extravaganza that was Harry Hills Stars In Their Eyes (ITV). John also wrote for Harry Hill on HHs Tea Time (Sky One).

A proud Londoner, The Evening Standard voted him in consecutive years as one of Londons Most Influential 1000 People.

Now THIS is how you do absurd comedy he has forged comedy gold. As a fully-rounded character who is exaggerated but credible, flawed but hopeful, Kearns alter-ego could have been written by those other icons of comedy gone by, Galton and Simpson. I cant think of much higher praise than that.

Kearns goes to places stand-up rarely goes. If you appreciate intellectually ambitious humour as well as Live at the Apollo hilarity go and see him. If you have a heart you will laugh and be moved. You can bet your shirt on it.
Evening Standard

Opening the show is Ben Van der Velde.

Ben Van der Velde is a stand-up comedian, actor, improviser and presenter. Over the past decade he has spread joy and nonsense to all four corners of the British Isles, as well as Greece, Denmark, Sweden, Switzerland, Estonia, Latvia, Finland and Norway.

He is a regular host and act for respected British comedy clubs such as The Comedy Store, Komedia, The Backyard, The Glee, Covent Garden Comedy Club, The Stand, Comedy Loft, Top Secret Comedy, Outside the Box, the Frog & Bucket and Comedy Club 4 Kids, as well as hosting stages for Bestival, Festival No.6, End of the Road and Sunday Papers Live.

Rocking the middle section will be Hetty Austin (South Coast Comedian 2018 Finalist) and Nathan Eagle (Bath New Act 2018 Finalist). Your host for the night will be Portsmouth Guide Award nominee 2019, Jake Young.

The show starts at 8pm sharp and we’ll have everything wrapped up by half 10.

* Line-ups are subject to change but we will always ensure that we replace an act with someone who is just as good, if not, better!

Please book ONLINE for tickets to Comedy only.

Food will be available in the restaurant before the comedy starts at 8pm. To reserve your table please call 02392 510005

14th February – VALENTINES NIGHT

Join us for a romantic meal at the Alverbank on Valentines this year

Valentine’s Day – £29.95pp 


BBQ Oysters – Lemon Gel – Shaved Fennel 

White Asparagus – Cured Egg Yolk – Cured Bacon 

Avocado – Semi Dried Tomatoes – Pickled Red Onion – Tacos (v) 

Chicken Lollipops – Soya Sauce – Kimchi 


Butter Poached Cod – Wet Polenta – Mussels – Crispy Chicken Skin 

Duck Egg Parpadelle – Shaved Truffles (v) 

Venison Fillet – Glazed Carrot – Potato Terrine – Raspberry Corn Fed Chicken- Black Garlic Risotto – Lemon 


Vanilla Mousse – Raspberry Jelly – Basil – Shortbread 

Caramel Sponge – Candied Walnuts – Salted Caramel Ice Cream 

Dark Chocolate Mousse – Orange Curd – Brandy Snap 

Selection of Hampshire Cheese & Biscuits (£6 supplement) 

Please inform a member of staff of any allergies or any dietary requirements. Most of our dishes can be Gluten Free, so please do speak to a member of the team who will be happy to discuss these with you.